Forget, Never

Never forget... 

The times where you are born... 

The times where you are raised...

The times where you will end up to be... 

The times where you will find a resting place...

Lastly, never forget what you are made to be and who you truly are and the responsibility that one must up hold. 

Time Changes

I have often wondered why can't life goes the way you want it to go. There are times where people have appeared and disappeared in your life. Is it my fault for those who left in my life? There was a time where I was completely loyal to my parents but later in my life I realize maybe I don't have to be completely loyal to my parents wishes. In the larger perspective I was under their leash and didn't bother to break free. Was it because that I was really comforted under the safe haven or zone that my parents has provided? I guess. Time is a tricky subject. It can be nice to you and it will slow down for you when you need it or it can go really fast and waste your whole day in the matter of minutes. I do miss spending time to those I loved and those who I will love in the future. I often wondered that time will give me a chance to change the ways of everyone lives. Time has a mind of its own and will continue to go on and on. It doesn't really care if you are an important person or a maggot wanting to grow up. I guess everything happens for a reason and that time is his/her its friend.  

Going to continue this tomorrow if time will let me... 

Prayer Request

I want to pray for those who are truly believe in God.

Is God not a figure of speech... 

Is God not a friend...

God is not many things...

God is God. 

Sure you may believe in God. Does anyone can answer me, why? Without having to think about it like writing a text message. Sure you can write great things about God by editing words around, but the question everyone and even myself need to ask is WHY?!

To go straight to the point. I am praying for those who claims to be a Christians to ask themselves questions about themselves. In radical honesty I question about the existence of God however I do believe in Him. Does that make me not Christian? 

Religion?

It has been a while since I wrote a blog post on Xanga. It has also has been a while since I have been going to church. The nostalgia was kicking in from the beginning and ending of the service. Don't get me wrong it was a good service and was refreshing. However, there were questions that popped in my head like wild grapevine fire. I quickly wrote it down whatever I could find paper (offering envelope). 

Religion?

Is it worth it?

God? => Does HE EXIST?!

Are my ACTIONS of positive thinking/doing really worth it?

What is the point of having a place so called "Church" if it is so corrupted?

Where is the FAITH and the LOVE that God/Man has promised?

Why does it feel that all "Life" questions can be answered with the words "Faith" or "God?"

Is all the "Life" answers are in that book so called the "Holy Bible?" 

If that statement is true then why am I and everyone reading this book?

I feel that Religion is a big contradiction of itself. 

I have felt that some people has fell through in the system and brainwash them at a early age.

There are others who blindly acceptably follow for the reasons to be

"secure" - "safe" - "status." 

There could have been many reasons I have thought about this in a short period of time. Apparently I have no one else to blame for these thoughts. Not even for myself or the great divine. I assume it is the "idea" that has given us meaning to find the deep curiosity which one seeks like a poison spreading throughout the body. Slowly but surely it will consume the whole body before anyone will know it. I can conclude here that choose the "ideals" wisely and firmly for it will sway towards individualism.    

Turtle Crossing

Turtle Crossing

2010 - 07 - 14

I was doing my regular routine every evening jogging from my apartment and to campus and back. As I was jogging, just thinking about the past days. Let’s say it hasn’t been going twist and turns. Still jogging and still thinking about what could have gotten wrong. I got to the point of exhaustion and my destination. I looked around and stumbled upon a turtle in the middle of the road. The turtle was just chilling over the median yellow line and as soon its head pop out and started slowing making its way toward more roads. At the distance I saw a car coming and it’s going to cross the turtle’s way. I quickly went over the road grabbed the turtle and landed the turtle on the lawn next to the light post. I waited for it to walk and see it go on its way, but it didn’t come out. I went away couple steps back and kept my distance away from it so it doesn’t sense my presence. The turtle still would not come out. So, I gave up on it and jogged (more like walked) back to my apartment. I just realized after couple blocks away from where I left the turtle. I thought about what if situations. What if, the turtle wanted to meet the car hea on to die or wanted to get across on its own? I didn’t let that happen because I knew it will be safe off the road. The turtle was probably be saying, “What the fuck?! Why was I moved away from the road? I wanted to end my life or I was doing just fine crossing the street without you. Fuck you!” At the moment as all the imagination started to settle. Right there and then I was that turtle in these past couple days with God. My plans for a trip were going just fine and it was going to be great. Then, once I was moved away from what I wanted to do and was angered and blamed God for my problems and asked Him why this did happen. I went into my shell keeping out all that was around me blocked out. I hid my feelings away from the world and kept everything to myself. Just like that turtle. It was truly a sign from God. He is truly watching me. He wanted me to cross with that turtle to see myself in the third person. I just need to pop back my head open and see the world as it is and make the best out of it.  Thanks God and Mom for sticking by me when I was in a selfish position.  

Everyone has problems. You may think they don’t, but the truth is that they really do. - Mom